Eve Duncan
Rudeville
Rudeville
Rudeville is a little known state in the alpine resort of Morzine, France. Its community has grown at such an epic rate in the last seven years that it is now taking action to have its independence granted. Many scientists have studied Rudeville and concluded that the backbone to this winter sports paradise is rudechalets. As the most über-fun chalet brands in the Alps they are constantly investing in new ways to keep their snowboarding and skiing guests happier than Larry himself ensuring a loyal community of Rudevillians is established. Sure, they have roaring fireplaces and snow outside, but they also have XBOX 360’s in every bedroom as standard; table footballs; bubbling Jacuzzis; walkie talkies; media centre’s; free wifi and a computer to use; a Burton Snowboard on-site test centre providing the latest Burton technology for you to test crash; the coolest art and pictures from the coolest people and the best handpicked staff from the four corners of the world who have been trained extensively in the way’s of rudechalets. Don’t be a stranger as everyone is welcome in the Rudeville community, a town so nut-bustlingly awesome it could only be made up, couldn’t it? …
The town itself is kept in shipshape by its proud Mayor and international historian Francois Smythe III who beseeches you to “come check out my town and its secret stash of snow sports fun!”
ACTIVITIES
A visit to Rudeville wouldn’t be worth the plane fare without checking out the following:
- The Stash – A sweet gem of snowboarding goodness. If you love off-piste free-styling without the off-piste then my dears this one’s for you.
- The Pipe – Created by the world’s finest semi-professional snowboarding Chilean plumbers.
- Snowpark – A fave celeb hotspot. With the likes of Terry Nutkins, Anneka Rice and Duncan from Blue shredding the white stuff.
- Lake Rude – Go ice diving and see the leftovers of the first caveman snowboarder, said to be over 1300 years old.
- Chalet Christophe – The first chalet ever built. Before this snowboarders had to hliday in caves heated with Bunsen burners donated by the science department of a local comprehensive school.
- Chalet Joseph – Named after the Rudeville Theatre Company’s multi award winning production, Joseph and His Technicolour Dream Board.
- Chalet Chapelle – Open the windows at night and you can hear the fabled snowboarding Morris dancers waving their hankies to the moon.
EVENTS
Every January (this year it will be 10th-17th January 2010) a group of fine young damsels in snowdress known as the Rudegirls convene for a weeklong course held at Chalet Joseph. It was created specially for the Eves of the snowboarding world. Any lady can join their small group and learn to shred the slopes with confidence, grace and of course glamour. Plus the snow crazy damsels will go night-sledging, learn yoga with Taiwanese instructor Sergi and finish with our award winning awards night.
Every twenty-seven and a half bi-quarterly months the whole town gathers on the whitest peak of the tallest mountain to witness the Mayor present someone a key to the city. Our Keyship’s latest recipient is the flame-haired Shaun White. After much deliberation, cogitation and digestion the Rudeville community choir awarded Shaun and his flowing locks for their outstading contribution to snowboarding and styling mousse. As a Keyman he has complete freedom of the town; being able to soak in any Jacuzzi, hum the intoxicating Grandstand theme-tune every second Sunday of the month and officially marry snowboarding lovebirds.
PERSONALITIES
And finally we have Chris and Helen, owners of Rudechalets – the single most-greatest chalets in the history of chalets. Some say it’s the reason Rudeville exists, but all we know is they will blow your mind like a mouthful of lemmings high on fizzy cola bottles. An independent study conducted by the owners found that rudechalets were indeed kickass and are in fact the only place to stay in Rudeville. Having set up a series of chalets in Rudeville they’re now off to open the first ski chalet in a live volcano.
It seems there just isn’t enough hours in the day to experience all the delights of Rudeville. If you would like to visit the snow-covered paradise of Rudeville then check out their morzine accommodation. It’s funkier than a Swedish film set.
About the Author
Author Iris Johansen discusses BLOOD GAME
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